The Fritos of Wrath
by Evilmini86
Summary: ch8 is up Don't ask. This is a little piece of colaberation between Evilmini86 and BurasMew. It's just a random thing. But when there's big feet, mysterious men, and furbys...you can't go wrong!
1. The Story of Ultimate Randomness

Chap 1: Let the Randomness Begin  
  
A/N:  
  
Buras_Mew: .'' I'm re-writing my chapter. . . Evilmini86: Huh? Why?  
  
Buras_Mew: I hate my chapter. . . there isn't any love in it!  
  
Evilmini86: *singing* Where is the love? Where is the love?! The love? The lo-  
  
Buras_Mew: . Ya, I noticed that I been rushing a lot to get them done... and *re-reads* UGH! I can do so much better then that!!!!! *throws chapter in garbage* Evilmini86: *sitting down eating fridos* Hmm. . . that's nice. . . Mm! I love Fritos! Buras_Mew: More then you love Sprite Remix? Evilmini86: *gives an evil look* Never. . . ever try to think that there is a higher love in my life then Sprite Remix... Buras_Mew: But what about your girlf- Evilmini86: NOTHING!!! *Veins popping out of his head* Buras_Mew: Um. . . okaay. Evilmini86: . . . Buras_Mew: . . . Evilmini86: WELL!?!? Buras_Mew: Well what?! Evilmini86: Don't you have a chapter to re-write?! Buras_Mew: O.k. . . I'll work on it right now... *Buras_Mew re-writes her chapter as Evilmini86 runs off to a corner holding a Sprite Remix.* Evilmini86: *stroking the Sprite Remix* Let's go to the promise lands mother... hee hee hee! ^_^ Buras_Mew: -_-'' Freaky. . . just plain freaky. . .  
  
*********************************************************************** (Stars! yay!)  
  
Narrator: Destiny Island was at usual. . . calm and peaceful. Tidus was brushing his hair making it all shiny and pretty, while looking at his beautiful, beautiful face. Wakka and Selphie were making out in the secret room/cave thingy. Sora has just discovered that he had really big looking feet, and Riku was trying to throw away to stupid Furby that seemed to always appear back to his shelf every morning when he throws it out the night before, and Kairi seemed to be the only one working on the raft!! The children continued this cycle, not having a freaking clue of what was going to come up and slap them in the face.  
  
Riku is sitting on his bed with a mixture of emotions on his face, he was tired . . . angry. . . frustrated . . . and hungry. . . but he was mostly angry. He was looking across the room, which on one of him draws, was a Furby starring right back at him, with the most biggest, bluest, childlike eyes you can possibly lay eyes on.  
  
Riku: (thinking to himself) I'm. . . I'm sure I threw you out last night...  
  
Furby: . . . Me lov-  
  
Riku: (slightly mad) Don't even say it!!!!  
  
Furby: . . .  
  
Riku: Got that right bitch!!  
  
Furby: (blinks)  
  
Riku: But here you are... on my shelf... as if I never threw you out...  
  
Furby: (blinks)  
  
Riku: Hmm....  
  
Furby: Me lov-  
  
Outside of Riku's house, you can see small fragments of broken glass and Furby crashing threw his window.  
  
*Meanwhile with Kairi and Sora*  
  
Kairi: (mumbling as she's carrying logs to a pile of junk) Sora, are- (grunt)-are you going to just sit on the ground all day long?! Come on a help me with the raft!  
  
Sora: (Ignoring Kairi) . . .I never really noticed them before. . .  
  
Kairi: (Drops logs) Noticed what?  
  
Sora: The size. . . the shape. . . of my shoes.  
  
Kairi: -_-' Sora, come on! I need help with the raft. . .!  
  
Sora: They're just so... weird... (begins to poke them)  
  
Kairi: You're acting silly!! Stop poking at your feet and help me!  
  
Sora: . . .I wonder how I walk in them. . .  
  
Kairi: -_-' Sooora. . .  
  
Sora: Hmm. . . I wonder if this is the real shape of my feet. . .  
  
Kairi: 0_o!!  
  
Sora: (begins talking off shoes)  
  
Kairi: (Not really wanting to know if that's the shape and size of his real feet, she grabs Sora's hands in a panic) I think we should leave that mystery for another day.  
  
Sora: (pouts) Oh fine.  
  
Kairi: Good, (turns around) Now how about helping me with the raft? Can you get me some things for- (Turns around to see that Sora isn't there) . . . Why me? -_____-'  
  
And now at Riku's again.  
  
Riku: (mumbles while getting dressed) Stupid demented Furby. . . (Waving his fist in the air) How I despise you. . .  
  
Sora: (Comes running in without knocking... how rude) Riku! You won't believe what I discovered!  
  
Riku: O.O!!!! (screams in high-pitched girly voice) EEEEEEEEEEE!! SORA, FOR GOD'S SAKES!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO KNOCK FIRST?!  
  
Sora: (Thinks about it) I would have to say this is the 16453rd time...  
  
Riku: (looking rather annoyed) What. . . Do. . You. . . Want!?  
  
Sora: Oh yes.... my shoes! I just discovered something about my shoes!!  
  
Riku: (looking down at Sora's shoes) ... What's wrong with them?  
  
Sora: They're big and demented looking!!! (Looks down at Riku's shoes) Hey, yours are is kinda funny looking too...  
  
Riku: Don't go there...  
  
Sora: But they get all round at the front-  
  
Riku: I said. . . do. . not. . go. . there. .  
  
Sora: But- (Riku gives Sora an evil eye.) Fine, yeech... picky... But I didn't come here for any reason; there was something I wanted to tell you!  
  
Riku: -_-' Um. . .was it you discovering that you had big feet?  
  
Sora: No, that wasn't it... Oh ya! Kairi wants us to help with the raft. She kicked me out of my bed in five in the morning and is forcing me to do EVERYTHING!!!  
  
Riku: (raising eyebrow) Everything?  
  
Sora: Yes! That woman is a slave driver!!!  
  
In the far off distance Kairi is fainting from too much sun and work.  
  
Sora: I barley escaped when she turned her back! (Grabs Riku's top and begins shaking him) I CAN'T HANNDLE THE PRESSURE!!! MY BODY ISN'T DESIGNED FOR LABOR!!!  
  
Riku: o_O (Dizzy)  
  
Sora: So will you help?  
  
Riku: Uh. . . ya, sure. Just let me get some stuff. . .  
  
Sora: Stuff? . . What could you possibly need?  
  
Riku: -_-' Well. . . my pants for starters. . .  
  
Sora: (looks to see that he is completely pantless) Oh. . .  
  
Riku: . . .  
  
Sora: . . .  
  
Riku: Aren't you going to let me get dressed?  
  
Sora: Oh. . . oh ya. . . . I guess I'll wait outside then.  
  
Riku: -_-'' . . .Ya. . . You go that.  
  
Sora: (before leaving) Oh and Riku... Nice Furby. (Leaves)  
  
Riku: WHAT?! (Turns around to see the Furby on his bed and its eye suddenly glow a very evil red...) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
*Meanwhile with Kairi. . .again*  
  
Kairi: Where did you run off to!? Do I have to do everything around here?!  
  
Sora: (Walking up to Kairi) I got Riku to help.  
  
Kairi: It's about time. . . -_-'  
  
Riku: (Stomping up to Kairi and Sora with the Furby in its hands) Here! (Hands it to Sora) Take it! You can have it! It's yours!!!  
  
Sora: Wow! Really!?  
  
Riku: (yelling) Just keep it away from me!!  
  
Sora: (Very excited) Wow! Thanks! (Sits down and begins playing with it) I shall name you Sue-Ellen!  
  
Sue-Ellen: Me love you...  
  
Sora: (Eyes get all big and puffy) Gasp! I love you too! (Hugs the Furby)  
  
Kairi + Riku: O.o (slowly waking away)  
  
Kairi: Um. . . (Turning her attention towards Riku) How about you get me some supplies?  
  
Riku: Uh, ok. *Runs to get supplies even though he doesn't have a freaking clue what to get*  
  
Kairi: (sighs) If only it was that easy for Sora. . .  
  
Sue-Ellen: ...Me love you...  
  
Kairi: -_-''' Is that all it can say?  
  
Sora: I dunno. (Hugs the Furby even tighter)  
  
Kairi: -_-'... Sora, can you do be a little favvvvvvvour?  
  
Sora: I dunno. . .  
  
Kairi: I'll give you a donut.  
  
Sora: Really?  
  
Kairi: (Dumps a list of things on him) Can you get me the items on this list?  
  
Sora: (pouts) But I've been working all morning long!!  
  
Kairi: (veins begging to pop from her forehead) WORKING?! YOU BEEN WORKING YOU SAY?!?!  
  
And now a classic sexy moment with Tidus.  
  
Tidus: (Looking in mirror and stroking hair) You are such a sexy thing, yes you are!  
  
His attention soon draws to a gigantic bird in the sky wearing red shorts with a long list in his hands  
  
Tidus: Hmm. . . That bird looks like a lot like Sora. . .  
  
Sora: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! (Continues to fly over the horizon)  
  
Tidus: . . . . . . . . . (Looks back at the mirror) Yes you are!!  
  
Sora eventually lands on the ground and sees behind him the secret hideout/cave thingy  
  
Sora: Hmmm.... Maybe some of the items on this list are in there.  
  
Sora walks in the Secret hideout/cave thingy and looks around trying to find items.  
  
Sora: Hey! A shroom!! (Pics up a mushroom)  
  
He turns to his left and notices a man beside a door  
  
Sora: (over dramatic gasp) Who are you?!  
  
Rick Mercer: Oh, I'm Rick Mercer. Don't mind me at all. . . I'm just looking at this door.  
  
Sora: Oh. . . ok. . . Wait, where did this door come from?!  
  
Rick: I dunno... I just got here.  
  
Sora: ... and where did you come from?  
  
Rick: I'm actually very glad you asked that little boy. . .  
  
Sora: -_-' I'm fourteen.  
  
Rick: (Ignoring Sora) I come from a land that not many people understand. . . I come from-  
  
Just before Rick Mercer could answer, a mysterious man jumps from a corner and stabs Rick in the heart with a knife. Rick then falls to the floor seeming lifeless.  
  
Mysterious Man: (Mumbles) That's the last time you messed with me Rick Mercer!! (Spits on the corps) Bitch!!  
  
Sora: O.O!!!!!!!!!!  
  
M.M: Hmm... where was I? ... Oh ya... (Voice becomes all deep and sexy and mysterious) I have come too see what is on the other side of this door...  
  
Wakka + Selphie: (Hiding behind a rock in each others arms hearing everything.)  
  
*****************************************************  
  
Buras_Mew: Oh ya. . . I like this chapter better! I think I'll keep it! ^_^ *Hugs the second version of chapter 1* Evilmini86: I'm back!! Let's us commence with more happy music! Buras_Mew: Um... how about no. Evilmini86: But I'm finally cured, I passed my SRA Buras_Mew: SRA? Evilmini86: Sprit Remix Anonymous Buras_Mew: -_-''''''' Random Commercial Guy: Hey kids! Have you heard of our new Diet Sprite Remix with a hint of cherry? Evilmini86: *gasps* OHMYGOD! YOU'RE KIDDING!!! *runs to the nearest local food shop* Random Commercial Guy: Yes, for only 19.89$! Buras_Mew: O_ What?! Evilmini86: *grabbing every bottle and bring it to the cash register* It's worth every penny!! Sniff... it looks so beautiful... Random Commercial Guy: It's truly an orgasm in a bottle!! Hello little girl... would you like to try the new Remix? Buras_Mew: o_ Get the hell outta here before I shove my 2 foot Budda statue up your ass!!! Evilmini86: SPRITE REMIX FOREVER!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *comes crashing threw a wall spraying the stuff everywhere.* Buras_Mew: -_-' I should just end this before it gets any worst. 


	2. When Furby's Attack!

Chapter 2: When Furby's Attack...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Evilmini86: We don't own blah, blah, blah...  
  
Buras_Mew: Be serious!  
  
Evilmini86: I'm sick! Leave me alone. This is my chapter! I'm in charge now!  
  
Buras_Mew: (breaking into song) Evil in charge! Of our days and of our nights!  
  
Evilmini86: Dammit. Here we go...  
  
Buras_Mew: Charles in...I mean, Evil in charge of our wrongs and our rights! And I want, Evil in charge of me!!!  
  
Evilmini86: That was a fun trip to the 80's. You should have brought me back a T-shirt.  
  
Buras_Mew: Huh?  
  
Evilmini86: Just smile and move on.  
  
Buras_Mew: ^________^  
  
Evilmini86: Okay. (sneeze) And on with the show!  
  
Buras_Mew: Awww...  
  
Evilmini86: (wrapped up in a blanket) Take care of me!!!  
  
Buras_Mew: Where's that Yuki when you need her?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Sora's bedroom at night*  
  
Sora: (yawn) I hate working. Damn Kairi! Slave driver!  
  
*Off in the distance*  
  
Kairi: Someone HELP ME!!!!!!! I can't do it all my self!!!  
  
*Back in Sora's room*  
  
Sora: I bet she's off somewhere relaxing her butt off.  
  
Sue-Ellen: Hehehe, Furby love Soda!  
  
Sora: Soda?  
  
Sue-Ellen: Sorda!  
  
Sora: Yorda? That chick from Ico? What the hell?  
  
Sue-Ellen: Sora!  
  
Sora: You said my name? OH, FURBY!!!! (hugs) I love you! Hehehe! It's getting late. (puts Furby on self) Night night!  
  
Sue-Ellen: Nigh-nigh! (closes eyes)  
  
--Sora picks out his pajamas and lays them on his bed. He takes off his jacket and shirt, then his eyes venture over to his feet.  
  
Sora: I wonder...  
  
--He contemplates to himself.  
  
Sora: Should I take them off? Are the shoes just big? Or are my feet freakish? Am I secretly in love with Riku? Wait. Where'd that one come from?  
  
--He pulls on his pajama shirt and stares at his shoes.  
  
Sora: I gotta know! I just gotta! Plus...that's the only way I'll be able to change my pants.  
  
--He slowly unties the laces and loosens the shoes around his ankles. All of a sudden, the door opens.  
  
Sora's Mom: Sora!!! What are you doing?  
  
Sora: Taking off my...  
  
Sora's Mom: NO!!! Stop! You can't. Just leave them on, okay. Now go to bed! NOW!!!  
  
Sora: But...  
  
Sora's Mom: NOW!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sora: (climbing into bed) Okay, okay. (falls asleep)  
  
--Meanwhile, "Sue-Ellen" scampers off into a whole in the wall. Inside there is a huge (well, huge for a furby) corridor filled with art. The hallway opens up to a lounge where many furby's are.  
  
Tommy (a Furby): Why hello...Sue-Ellen. Hehehe.  
  
Tony: My name is not Sue-Ellen! That dumb kid with the huge feet named me that! It's Tony to you! Capeesh?  
  
Tommy: All right already? Cool it.  
  
Tony: Fine. So how's the job goin'?  
  
Tommy: Mine or yours?  
  
Tony: What do you think?  
  
Tommy: I ain't doin' so good. And from what I've heard...neither are you.  
  
Tony: But that kid's got the sh*t scared clean out of him!  
  
Tommy: Was that the point of the job, Tony?  
  
Tony: No. But I have to make myself as unsuspicious as possible. They can't know!  
  
Tommy: Know what?  
  
Tony: About the...  
  
(A/N: Evilmini86: Doesn't the suspense just kill ya?)  
  
Godfurby: Fubbi Mafiba.  
  
Tommy: What'd he say?  
  
Tony: How the hell should I know? I was just gonna say the Fur-  
  
Godfurby: Fubbi Maballini.  
  
Tony: Godfurby. Please. Can I finish my sentence?  
  
Godfurby: Goo bite a men.  
  
Tony: What?  
  
Tommy: I think he said 'go right ahead.'  
  
Tony: Thank you. (clears throat) The Furby Mafia!  
  
Tommy: What were we talking about? 'Cause that completely lost all meaning. What about the Furby Mafia?  
  
Godfurby: Tha Bervy Makipa bizz a murry pold mim bonered...  
  
Tony: I don't mean any disrespect, Tommy, but is the Godfurby like...retarded or something?  
  
Tommy: No. He's just senile. That's all.  
  
Tony: oh.  
  
Godfurby: See maka maka, poo tom oh la la la la! Pex in da boo te.  
  
Tony: What the...  
  
*back on the island shore*  
  
Kairi: FUCK!!! Jesus! I've been slaving all night and day for this stupid raft. They are good for nothing piles of shit!!! Damn you all to HELL!!!  
  
--A voice is heard from behind the palm trees.  
  
Voice: But hell smells like Fritos Kairi. Why do you want to send them to the land of Fritos?  
  
Kairi: What the fuck are you talking about?  
  
Voice: I am a man of mystery. Or the "mysterious man" as some call me.  
  
Kairi: You sound crazy. And a little dangerous. Are you?  
  
Mysterious Man: Crazy or dangerous?  
  
Kairi: Both.  
  
MM: Yes.  
  
Kairi: Yes to crazy or dangerous?  
  
MM: (winks) Both.  
  
Kairi: What have you done that's so crazy?  
  
MM: I killed a Canadian comedian because he popped into this story out of place.  
  
Keano Reeves: Hey, guys. Wanna see some awesome stunts?  
  
MM: It's never ending. (pulls out gun) I'd love to see a stunt. Dodge this.  
  
BANG!!!!  
  
Kairi: Oh, my God! You killed Keano! You sexy bastard!  
  
MM: I must go now. But heed my words. Fritos lie beyond the door.  
  
Kairi: What?  
  
MM: Kitten! Kitten!  
  
Kairi: What the hell?!!  
  
--The stranger disappears into the dark.  
  
Kairi: Whatever.  
  
*Meanwhile...Sora lies awake in his room*  
  
Sora: Why won't mom let me take off my shoes? It doesn't make any sense. Unless, maybe she's protecting me from something. I wonder...  
  
--All of a sudden there's a knock at his window.  
  
Sora: What could that be?  
  
--As soon as he gets up the phone rings.  
  
Sora: A 2 in the morning? (picking up the phone) Hello?  
  
Hey Sora! It's me, Kairi?  
  
Sora: Did you ever finish?  
  
NO!!! I was just calling to tell you that I saw this weird mysterious guy on the island.  
  
Sora: Where are you?  
  
At the raft.  
  
Sora: You got a cell phone? What brand?  
  
Motorola.  
  
Sora: What plan?  
  
I opted for Cingular Wireless.  
  
Sora: Oh.  
  
--There's another knock at the window.  
  
Sora: Yeah, well, I gotta go. There's a mysterious knock at my window and I'm going to be really stupid and answer it. Bye. (hangs up and walks to the window) Here we go. (opens the window)  
  
--Mist from a light rain drips onto Sora's face. A dark figure clutches to his window ledge with its feet holding onto a ladder.  
  
Figure: Sora! Let me in.  
  
Sora: I don't know who you are, but okay.  
  
Figure: (climbing in) What do you mean you don't know who I am? It's me!  
  
Sora: Are you...my...my...father?!!!  
  
Figure: No.  
  
Sora: Are you the guy that I'm secretly in love with whose come in though my window to make me yours?  
  
Figure: What the hell? I just wanted to ask you about that furby.  
  
Sora: Huh?  
  
Riku: Just turn on the light.  
  
Sora: Ok. (turns on the light) Riku?!! I guessed right!!!  
  
Riku: What?!!! Sora NO!!!  
  
GLOMP!!!  
  
--Sora jumps on top of Riku and pushes him to the bed.  
  
Riku: What are you doing?  
  
Sora: Sorry. (gets up and turns off the lights) Better?  
  
Riku: What?!!! SORA!!!  
  
Sora: (jumps on top of Riku) I never thought that this would happen!  
  
Riku: Please! STOP!!! SOMEBODY!  
  
--The door flings open...  
  
Sora's Mom: SORA?!!!  
  
Riku: I can explain!  
  
Sora's Mom: Put your shoes back on!!!  
  
Riku: What?  
  
Sora: My shoes?! I can see my feet?  
  
[slow motion]  
  
Sora's Mom: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Sora: (looking at his feet) OHHHHHH!!!!  
  
[normal motion]  
  
Riku: I told you they're just a little on the big side.  
  
Sora: At least they aren't as big as my shoes. What was the problem Mom?  
  
Sora's Mom: I don't remember.  
  
--All of a sudden there's a knock on Sora's door.  
  
Sora's Mom: Yes? Hello. And you are?  
  
MM: A Mysterious Man? I'd like to ask you a few questions.  
  
Sora's Mom: Okay. Bye kids. Have fun.  
  
--They leave Sora and Riku.  
  
Riku: NOOO!!! Please don't leave me here alone with him! RAPE! RAPE!!! SEKUHARA!!!  
  
Sora: I love it when you talk to me in Japanese baby!!!  
  
(A/N: Evilmini86: Awww, fan-service! Shonen ai is hilarious. Continue.)  
  
Riku: Stop kissing me!  
  
Sora: Oh, Riku!  
  
Riku: NO SORA!!! BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!!!  
  
Sora: RIKU!!!  
  
Riku: NOOO!!!  
  
Sora: YES!  
  
Riku: NO!!!  
  
Sora: YES!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Riku: CHOTTO SORA!!!  
  
Sora: Talk to me baby!!  
  
Riku: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Evilmini86: Well, there's my chapter! My randomness for today. YAY!!!  
  
Buras_Mew: What's with the yaoi?  
  
Evilmini86: So?  
  
Buras_Mew: Can't you give it a rest?  
  
Evilmini86: Not when it comes to Sora. I've got WAY too much evidence on him.  
  
Buras_Mew: Oh, sure. But I want Sora!  
  
Evilmini86: Bring on the fanservice! (Sora pops out of nowhere and plants a big wet one on Buras_Mew)  
  
Buras_Mew: ^__________________________________^  
  
Evilmini86: I'm done for today. See you all next chapter. Bye.  
  
Buras_Mew: ^__________________________________^  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	3. It IS Healthy to Question Parent's Autho...

Chapter 3: It IS healthy to question parents authorities!!!  
  
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Buras_Mew: *strangling Evilmini's neck* You just can't leave him alone can't you?!?! I knew this was going to happen if I left you alone to write Chapter 2! I knew it!! Evilmini86: But I can't help it! Look at the clues!! THE CLUES!!!! Buras_Mew: *pouts* BUT I WANT SORA!!! Evilmini86: He gave you a big wet kiss at the end... Buras_Mew: That's in Authors Notes! It doesn't count!!! Evilmini86: Whatever... It's done now and there's nothing you can do about it. Buras_Mew: We will see about that! Evilmini86: -__-' Oh please, what can you do? Buras_Mew: ... Evilmini86: ... Buras_Mew: I don't know. Evilmini86: *falls over anime style*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*And now a nice pleasant time with Sora's Mom and that Man of Mystery... or the Mysterious Man... whichever tickles you fancy.*  
  
MM: (Sitting on top of a tree looking up at the sky while petting a kitty) Look up at the stars... can you believe that they're just big ball of gas and fire? *Mumbles* Lazy stars... do nothing for nobody... Isn't that right Mr. Twinkles?! Huh?! ^_^ *Hugs the kitty*  
  
Sora's Mom: o_o Um... hello?  
  
MM: Oh... your still here?  
  
Sora's Mom: -_-' we just got here...  
  
MM: Oh yes! Right... *throws the cat into the water and pulls out some Fritos*  
  
Cat: MMMEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeowwwwwwwwwWWWWWW!!!!  
  
SPLASH!!!  
  
MM: Now... where were we?  
  
Sora's Mom: Um... I was going to tell you about my son's most embarrassing secrets?  
  
MM: No... *jumps down from the tree.* That wasn't it...  
  
Sora's Mom: Um... You wanted Riku's phone number? ^_^ So many young girls ask me that question all the time, being his mothers best friend and all-  
  
MM: -__-' I see...  
  
Sora's Mom: -I should know. I just hope my little Sora finds a cute little girl one day...  
  
*Off in the distance* Riku: SORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *Back with mother dearest ^_^*  
  
Sora's Mom Anyway- She walked right up to me and said to me... 'Hey Bitch!! What do you think your doing with that last can of tomato soup?!', and I was like-  
  
MM: -_____________-' *still eating Fritos* Interesting....  
  
*While Sora's Mother is talking with MM, Rick Mercer come crawling out of the secret cave with blood allover his face.* You basterd! *pulls out a gun* I know about your evil plan, and I must stop you before you can finish it!!  
  
MM: You again? You don't know when to give up do you Rick Mercer?! *Pulls out the 'big ass, don't mess with me bi-ach!' gun*  
  
BANG!!  
  
BANG!! BANG!!  
  
Sora's Mom: o_O!!!!  
  
MM: Damn Canadian... always getting in my way... *turns to mom* now where were we?  
  
Rick: Wait... I'm still alive...  
  
BANG!!!  
  
Rick: *falls over dead*  
  
Sora's Mom: o_O!!!!!!  
  
MM: Hmm... you have the same facial expression of the kid with the fucked up shoes that I saw yesterday...  
  
Sora's Mom: Wait... You mean Sora?  
  
MM: Ah yes... Sora.... The key blad- hmm.... Never mind... The point is that you saw too much... that means I'm going to have to kill you!!! 0_0!!!!!!!  
  
Sora's Mom: *over dramatically* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
*Over at Riku's hideout place-ma-bobby-thingy-ma-wa-hout-la-tout-goo-me- show-loot.* I know you can read it...  
  
Kairi: *hanging up her cell phone* Gasp! Sora is opening a window to a complete stranger!! Another gasp! That stranger might be that mysterious man... of that man of mystery!! Whichever one tickles my fancy! But which one I do not know!! *Sits down and thinks about it for five to eight minutes*... I think I'll pick the Mysterious Man... Ya... It sounds sexier... Anyway; I must go and save him!! SORA!!! I'M COMING!!!!!!!!  
  
*Kairi begins running but trips on a near by log*  
  
Kairi: Damnit! *Gets back up* It's so dark I can't see a thing!!!  
  
*Starts running again but gets slapped in the face by a branch*  
  
Kairi: FUCK!!!  
  
*Now with the Furby Mafia*  
  
Sue-Ellen: What's the noise? *Looks out of the wall* Ewww.... *walks back* I think I'll give them there 'alone' time....  
  
Tommy: ^__________^  
  
Sue-Ellen: ...What da fucks up with you!?  
  
Tommy: ^__________^  
  
Sue-Ellen: YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU A GO SLAP IN DA FACE?!?!  
  
Tommy: It's your name....  
  
Sue-Ellen: Huh? *looks to the left of him* Hey! For the last time my name is Tony!!!!  
  
Tommy: Whatever you say sweetheart.... ^______________________^  
  
Godfurby: Shue-Hellean....  
  
Sue-Ellen: It's Tony.... -___-  
  
Godfurby: Shont heep shanghing houre hame hoy! Het hout herre hande Ted Danson hoo hore buessnessesasgojsflkdojdaaaaaa  
  
Sue-Ellen: What the hell?  
  
Tommy: He wants you to get your ass into gear and get out there! There's work to be done!!!  
  
Sue-Ellen: Um... Can't I do it tomorrow? I don't really want to disturb them right now....  
  
Godfurby: *Slaps Tony/Sue-Ellen*  
  
Sue-Ellen: .O!! *Slaps the Godfurby*  
  
Tommy: *Gasp!*  
  
Sue-Ellen: No-a-body, and I mean NOBODY SLAPPED BIG TONY!!!!  
  
Godfurby: You have no idea what you got yourself into little boy... *puts on doctor/rubber gloves and makes that snapping sound* Now... bend over...  
  
Sue-Ellen: 0_O!!!  
  
Tommy: HE CAN SPEEK ENGLISH!?!?!?  
  
In a evil world far, far way, two very evil and sexy villains and enjoying a nice spring day and having a little tea party because it's tradition and they always have tea parties on Friday nights  
  
Ansem: (Sipping Tea) It's about time I got into this fucking story...  
  
Sephroth: I know how you fell... I've been playing at the stunt man for Mr. Clean ever since Final Fantasy 7 was finished... then my lawyer called saying something about crossover thingy-ma-bob called Kingdom Hearts... and here I am today! I'm back into the video game business!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Ansem: It's just so hectic around here... I've been noticing Magnificent is having a gas problem... It's so disturbing...  
  
Septhroth: (Sighing) That's what happened when you get old... (Putting down cup)  
  
Ansem: Getting old... What a horrible way to die. I want to die by an alligator while trying to stick my thumb up its butt.  
  
Septhroth: Well you should see how you die.  
  
Ansem: (Raises eyebrow) What are you talking about?  
  
Septroth: You die getting whacked to death with a gigantic house key... pass over two sugar cubes please.  
  
Ansem: (Handing over sugar.) You lie!  
  
Sephroth: No, I'm dead serious!! Look at this! (hands over script of Kingdom Hearts to Ansem)  
  
Ansem: (Reads for a little while) ...Oh my god! Your right!! ... (Feeling faint) I can't believe this... how old is this guy?  
  
Seproth: Fourteen...  
  
Ansem: What?! I get whacked to death by a pimple face teenager filled with hormones who I bet works at a fast food restaurant and will, but good change, have no future!?!?!  
  
Septhroth: Well... from what I've read, he's quite lazy.  
  
Ansem: ...Really?  
  
Septhroth: The laziest.  
  
Ansem: (thinks) ...THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!! Oh my... I think... I ... need to sit down.  
  
Septhroth: You are sitting down...  
  
Ansem: ... Then I need more tea...  
  
Septhroth: ... Well it can be worse...  
  
Ansem: How?! How can it possible be any more worse?!  
  
Septhroth: You could be Unknown.  
  
Unknown: ...  
  
Septhroth: Just look at him... So quite... so myserious... so unknown... It makes me sick to my stomach!  
  
Unknown: -__-' ...  
  
Septhroth: Oh say something for once! It's driving me crazy!!  
  
Unknown: F#^$ you. (Walks away)  
  
Ansem: (Sighs deeply while resting head on the table) I feel so depressed...  
  
(Suddenly the doors go flying open and a small figure appeared.)  
  
Mario: It's a me! Mario!  
  
Ansem: O.o?  
  
Septhroth: -__-' Oy, not now Mario...  
  
Mario: But-a-Septhroth! What about da sweet sweet love we made together.  
  
Septhroth: That was two weeks ago!! I told you it can't work out!  
  
Mairo: Give-a-me and chance! I can change! I can change, I promise!  
  
Ansem: You had sex with Mario?  
  
Septhroth: ...What of it?  
  
Ansem: I don't know why... but this kinda makes me feel better. ^^  
  
Peach: (Appearing out of the corners) MAIRO!!!  
  
Mario: (gasps) Princess! What are you doing here?!  
  
Peach: I fallowed you because I wanted to know where you went every Wednesday night! But now I know! It's true! You are cheating on me!!  
  
Ansem: ...Wait... (Turns to Sephroth) This was on a regular basis?!  
  
Sephroth: -__-' Do we have to talk about this now?  
  
Ansem: Yes! That 'boys only' slumber party is next Friday and I want to get everything cleared up about you before we both go together!  
  
Peach: (To Sephroth) YOU DAMN BASTERD!! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!!!  
  
_____________________________________________________________________  
  
Buras_Mew: There! I'm done this chapter! Enjoy Evilmini86. Evilmini86: It's about time... it's been about 2 weeks... and this is the best you can come up with!!! Buras_Mew: I HAVE A PERFICT EXCUSE!!!! Evilmini86: *raised eyebrow* Oh ya... like what? Buras_Mew: ......... I dunno. I just was. Evilmini86: riiiiiiiiiighhhht 


	4. Friends Don't Let Friends Eat Fritos

Chapter 4: Friends Don't Let Friends Eat Fritos  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Evilmini86: (yawn) Oh, it's my turn again? It's seems like forever since...  
  
Buras_Mew: Can it! (BLAM!)  
  
Evilmini86: Ouch! Sorry. Anyway. It is my turn, sooo I shall celebrate. Commence in the happy music! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!! (a midget mariachi band appears) AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE!!!  
  
Buras_Mew: (pulls out shotgun) Say hello to my little...  
  
Evilmini86: NO!!!  
  
Midgets: AAAIIIIIIII!!! (run for their dear lives)  
  
Evilmini86: How dare you?!!  
  
Buras_Mew: It's the business. Now write your chapter!!! (aims gun in a suggestive direction)  
  
Evilmini86: (squeals like a girl) AHHHH!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Mysterious Man kneels in front of an alter guided with gold and crystal. He prays and pulls a long chain from his coat. At the end is a small key.)  
  
MM: I will avenge your death father. The name of Ted Danson shall live forever!!! I must...I must...  
  
Father Thomas (random priest): What the hell are you doing here? This is a place of God! Not Ted Danson.  
  
MM: But Becker's on once a week!  
  
Father Thomas: I don't give a fuck! (motions the trinity) Forgive me Mary! I love you. So...very...very...  
  
MM: Okay. I'm gone.  
  
Father Thomas: Wait! Aren't you going to take this dead body with you?  
  
MM: Huh? Her? Nah.  
  
Father Thomas: What am I supposed to do with it?  
  
MM: I don't know. Bless it or something. (jumps through an open window and flies out with his coat flailing in the wind) OUCH! SHIT!  
  
Father Thomas: Clumsy, my child? (shakes a fist) That's what you get for ditching a dead body in my church!!!  
  
* Meanwhile...Ansem and Sephiroth sit at a café, talking *  
  
Ansem: Let me get things straight. Now, I die at the end of the game at the hands of a fourteen year old goof off?!!  
  
Sephiroth: Yes.  
  
Ansem: And you have been having a..."thing" with Mario?  
  
Sephiroth: Just 'cause King Koopa paid me.  
  
Ansem: So...are you???  
  
Sephiroth: Am I what?  
  
Ansem: Um...ya know.  
  
Sephiroth: No, I don't.  
  
Ansem: Are you gay?  
  
Sephiroth: Heavens no. I'm just easy.  
  
Ansem: Rrrrright. So am I safe to go on the sleepover with you?  
  
Sephiroth: Yes. I think.  
  
Ansem: You think!  
  
(a young waitress walks over)  
  
OH MY GOD!!! OMG! OMG!  
  
Sephiroth: Do I know you?  
  
Tifa: I'm Tifa Love-a-lot!  
  
Sephiroth: Isn't that like a care bear or something?  
  
Tifa: I mean Lockheart. (giggles)  
  
Sephiroth: Okay. Good for you.  
  
Tifa: Don't you remember me?  
  
Sephiroth: Huh? No, I can't say that I do.  
  
Tifa: Nibelheim? The tongue ring?  
  
Sephiroth: Oh. Now I remember. What do you want?  
  
Tifa: I was wondering if we could hook up again.  
  
Sephiroth: Um, no. I'm sorry. I'm with...um...this gentlemen here.  
  
Ansem: WHAT!!!!  
  
Sephiroth: Cool it! Yes, him.  
  
Tifa: Oh...I don't know what to say?  
  
Sephiroth: Awww, do you think you turned me?  
  
Tifa: Kinda.  
  
Sephiroth: Well, you did! Bye now!  
  
Tifa: (runs off crying)  
  
Ansem: What the hell?!!  
  
Sephiroth: Don't flatter yourself. I just wanted to get that little whore off my back.  
  
Ansem: Sure sure.  
  
Sephiroth: She was an okay lay, I guess. But that dead broad. Oooo, nice!  
  
Ansem: WHAT??!!!!  
  
Sephiroth: If only I could remember her name.  
  
Ansem: Have you gone mad!  
  
Sephiroth: Aerthy?  
  
Ansem: Sephiroth! What's wrong with you?!  
  
Sephiroth: It sounded like Earth. Or mirth. I'm thinking Patty, but that's not right.  
  
Ansem: Do you hear me?  
  
Sephiroth: It's an "A" sound, I know it!  
  
Ansem: More importantly, do you hear yourself?  
  
Sephiroth: Oh, well. Forget it. Let's just call her Patty.  
  
--A tall blonde man with spiked hair walks up.  
  
Cloud: Hello. Down Sephie! No Cloud for you.  
  
Sephiroth: Damn.  
  
Ansem: What the hell is going on?  
  
Cloud: With what?  
  
Ansem: Everybody! Sephiroth, Mario, and YOU!  
  
Cloud: Huh? Me? I'm normal. I'm my normal sexy, muscular, hot, fierce, sexy, hot, sexy, sexy, hot, hot star of Final Fantasy VII, which happens to be the best Final Fantasy game ever.  
  
Sephiroth: Rikku's pretty hot though. And so is Yuna.  
  
Cloud: But Aerith is still my favorite.  
  
Sephiroth: THAT'S IT!!! Aerith, that's her name! HAHAHA!  
  
Cloud: Yeah. Even though she died...great in the sack.  
  
Sephiroth: It's always the quiet ones.  
  
Ansem: Rrrright. Are you two talking about Aerith Gainsborough?  
  
Sephiroth & Cloud: Yeah.  
  
Ansem: I just saw her getting a coffee.  
  
Sephiroth & Cloud: WHAT???!!!! (they dash through the café in search of Aerith)  
  
* Meanwhile...in Sora's bedroom *  
  
Riku: AHHHHHH!!! LEMME GO!!!  
  
Sora: Why? Can't we just cuddle here together?  
  
Riku: I'm not gay!  
  
Sora: Gender doesn't matter my love!  
  
Riku: I don't love you! Get off!  
  
Sora: No!  
  
Riku: (struggling) AHHHHH!!!  
  
Sora: Hmmm...I wonder where my mom went.  
  
Riku: I don't know. How about you let me go?  
  
Sora: How about no, Riku.  
  
(there's a knock on the door)  
  
Riku: What's that?  
  
Sora: I don't know. It sounded like a knock on the door. I think I'll do the stupidest thing I can right now and let them in. COME IN!!!  
  
Riku: No! Not when we're like this!  
  
(the door flings open)  
  
Kairi: I just came to...(double-take) AHHHHHHH!!!! (faints)  
  
Riku: It's not what it seems!  
  
Sora: Oh, yes it is!  
  
Kairi: (runs out of the house screaming) AAAHHHHHHH!!!  
  
*************************************************************  
  
Evilmini86: Soooo...did you like?  
  
Buras_Mew: Took long enough!  
  
EM86: Only a week, or so...  
  
BM: A week? More like a couple of months!!!!  
  
EM86: Hey! Maybe a month...  
  
BM: That's better.  
  
EM86: I can make you feel even better. Heh heh heh heh...  
  
BM: O.o  
  
EM86: Release my secret weapon!  
  
BM: AAAHHHHHH!!!!  
  
EM86: Go SORA!  
  
(grabs Mew and makes out with her)  
  
BM: ^____________________________^  
  
EM86: Permanent smile. It works everytime. 


	5. When The Mightly Twins Fell

The Fritos Of Wrath!  
  
Chap 5: When The Mighty Twins Fell . . .  
  
____________________________________________________________________  
  
Buras_Mew: joyful times it is . . . When it's my turn to write. *Under breath* It's about time.  
  
Evilmini86: I can hear you under that microphone.  
  
Buras_Mew: . . . What microphone? *Throws something in the garbage*  
  
Evilmini86: The one you just threw out.  
  
Buras_Mew: What are you talking about? You're crazy. *Throws a lit match into the garbage can and goes into flames.* You have no proof of anything. *starts throwing gasoline everywhere.* You just can go off and start accusing people of things like that.  
  
Evilmini86: What are you doing?  
  
Buras_Mew: I'm destroying the crime scene.  
  
Evilmini86: Your also poring gas all over Mc. Donald's  
  
Buras_Mew: I'm sure your county wont miss one little Mc. Donald's.  
  
Evilmini86: Buras_Mew. . .  
  
Buras_Mew: Yes?  
  
Evilmini: I think we're getting off the subject.  
  
Buras_Mew: Yes, yes we are. . . be before we continue. . . we have to do one little thing.  
  
Evilmini86: What?  
  
Buras_Mew: Run.  
  
*Evilmini and Buras_Mew crash threw the window and run away from the building in slow motion seconds before it blows up*  
  
Evilmini: *in the air . . . and in slow mo.* Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
Buras_Mew: Cool. . . We just had an American Action Movie Moment . . . I fell so . . . powerful!  
  
Evilmini: OHMYGOD! You just killed innocent people!!  
  
Buras_Mew: No need to fear Evilmini. I have taken many years of study and found out that robots work at Mc. Donald's.  
  
Evilmin86: -_-''''''''' And how many 'years' have you devoted yourself into this study?  
  
Buras_Mew: Two weeks.  
  
Evilmini86: -_-'''''''''''''  
  
Buras_Mew: But I have solid proof! Take a look of this! *Hands over a portfolio of pictures, algebra equations, and reports.*  
  
Evilmini86: Wow, this is kind of good.  
  
Buras_Mew: And you doubted me . . .  
  
Evilmini86: Gah! B.M! WE KEEP ON GETTING OFF SUBJET!! JUST SAY WHAT YOU WHERE GOING TO SAY BEFORE THE COPS COME!!!  
  
Buras_Mew: Oh, ok. This chapter is going to be really funny . . . since having an entire MONTH to think about it. *Eyeing Evilmini*  
  
Evilmini86: Have anything else to add?  
  
Buras_Mew: Yes, sex is bad for your health. NOW RUN!  
  
*Evilmini86 and Buras_Mew jump over the bush and fences when the cop cars came into view.*  
  
____________________________________________________________________  
  
From when we last saw the Mysterious Man, he was in the church . . . (hinting out great foreshallowing that you would believe!!) but he started wandering around town and somehow got into the mall, and what's even more bizarre is that he found his way into the little girls/teen area.  
  
MM: What am I doing here?!  
  
The MM walked around trying to find an exit but was only getting more and more deeper into the girl's area.  
  
MM: (yelling) Where's the fucking exit?!?! (MM continues to yell and swear as Mother's covered their children's ears and giving him a dirty look. He walked around getting even more lost when he saw himself around a huge collection of Mary-Kate and Ashley accessories.)  
  
MM: Huh? (Looking threw the items) T-shirts showing to much skin, tight hip huggers, crappy video games, dolls, movies. . . what the hell is this? (Pics up a movie) 'Getting There?' (Reads the back.) This is completely un- realistic full of crap!!  
  
The Mysterious Man continues look threw all the things until . . .  
  
MM: MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY UNDERWARE AND THONG!?! That's it!! (Throws movie on the ground.) They're creating a false image of what the woman of the 21st Century should be like! I like a woman who wears comfy big sweaters and reads lots of book, enjoys black and white movies, and they do not have celebrity faces on there undergarments. It seems that these two have forgotten the value of being- (Grabs a newspaper out of a woman's hands.) 2.5 MILLION ON MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY MAKE-UP?! I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THEY ARE STOPPED!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Passing Teeny-bopper: Oh my god!! Mary-Kate and Ashley are in the mall signing autographs!!  
  
The passing Teeny-boppers run off hand-in-hand to the other side of the mall. A small grin appears on the Mysterious Man's face and pulls out two sharp blades from under his coat.  
  
MM: The lord is good to me. . . . (He begins to walk in the direction that the girls were running in but then bumped into someone.)  
  
??: @_@ Ugh. . . . Watch where you're going!  
  
MM: What?! Do you have any idea who I- Oh it's you. . . Kairi was it?  
  
Kairi: Huh? (Looks up) Your're that Mysterious Guy!  
  
MM: -_-' How very observant of you. . . What are you doing here?  
  
Kairi: Oh.. I ran off when I found my two best friends . . . (squints eye) . . . being cuddly with each other. I ran in the opposite direction and I ended up here.  
  
MM: What's wrong with-  
  
Kairi: They're both guys.  
  
MM: Oh. . . well. . . I see. (The MM walked in the opposite direction but Kairi fallowed him)  
  
Kairi: So what are you doing here? ^_^  
  
MM: I'm going to kill Mary-Kate and Ashley and all there fans that so happen to be in this mall.  
  
Kairi: Um . . . That sounds. . . nice. (Thinking) Damn! I knew I shouldn't have worn my Mary-Kate and Ashley thong today!  
  
Cloud and Sephiroth run out of the café in search of Aerith leaving Ansem behind.  
  
Cloud: (Looking around) Hey look! A fair, maybe she could be in there! Oo! Oo! Look at that fairest wheel! . . . (squints eyes) It looks like it's being connected by only band aids. . .  
  
Sephiroth: Ya. . . that's nice and all, but first let's find a place with a bathroom. . . I have to go pee pee!  
  
Cloud: -__-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Sephiroth: I'm serious! I drank to much tea!  
  
Cloud: -_-'''''''''''''''''' I don't really have to know that.  
  
Sephiroth: Let's just go!  
  
Sephiroth grabs Clouds arms and walks with his leg's closes together away from the fair and towards a bunch of stores.  
  
Cloud: (reading the billboard) Quick Shop. . . What type of name it that?  
  
Sephiroth: Who cares! Let's just go inside!  
  
He opens the door and looking around. It seems to me that it's a mini- grocery store.  
  
Sephiroth: (turning to the clerk) Excuse me. . . do you have a bathroom?  
  
Dante: Ya. . . it's in the back. . . good luck finding your way there.  
  
As Sephiroth runs to the bathroom, Cloud begins going up and down the aisle.  
  
Cloud: (Looking between two cartons of milk.) Aerith? Aerith, are you there? (Puts the milk back down and opens the freezer to the frozen food) Are you in here Aerith?  
  
Randal: Hey Dante, check out this weirdo. . . When you think you saw them all. What's with that huge sword? The light-sabre is so much of a better weapon. . .  
  
Dante: (At Randal) Don't you have a video store to run?  
  
Cloud: (poking his head above the shelves.) Aerith?!  
  
Jay and Silent Bob appear in the store.  
  
Jay: Hey Clerks! This fair is amazing man!  
  
Dante: I thought you said it sucked.  
  
Jay: I did, but it's getting better.  
  
Cloud: (looking under Silent Bob's coat) Aerith?  
  
Now in the bathroom with Sephiroth  
  
Sephiroth: (On the can) Ahhh! That feels much better . . .  
  
He reaches to grab some toilet paper but realises that there isn't any there.  
  
Sephiroth: NO! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!  
  
Jay: Come on Silent Bob. Let's go back to the crappy fair. . .  
  
Dante: Wait Jay! Did you see Caitlin?  
  
Jay: Ya she was making out with this guy in the back of a car.  
  
Dante: WHAT?!  
  
Randal: *flipping through a hentai book* Wow. . . Caitlin cheating on you. What a big surprise.  
  
Dante: Damn, she thinks I stood her up! Jay, tell her that I'm stuck here working.  
  
Jay: Consider it already done little man.  
  
As Jay and Silent Bob leave, the phone rings and Randal picks it up.  
  
Randal: Yellow?  
  
After a few seconds, Randal turns to Cloud who is knocking on the bathroom door wondering what's taking him so long.  
  
Cloud: Sephiroth. . . Are you alright?  
  
Sephiroth: (panicking) Y-yes! Yes! I-I'm just fine!!!!! Um. . . I just need to. . . uh. . . um. . . JUST A SECOND!!!!! JUST GIVE ME A SECOND TO BE ALONE ALRIGHT!?!?!?  
  
Cloud: O.o?  
  
Randal: Hey, blondie with a huge sword!  
  
Cloud: Who me?  
  
Randal: Ya. . . (Stretches phone towards him) it's for you.  
  
Cloud: o_0 . . . Um. . . ok. (Grabs the phone) Hello?  
  
Deep Voice: You want to find Aerith don't you?  
  
Cloud: Gasp!! Who are you?! What do you know about her?  
  
Deep Voice: I can't tell you who I am . . . But if you want to find Aerith. . . pursue the yellow brick road.  
  
Cloud: The what?  
  
::Click::  
  
In great confusion, Cloud puts the phone back on the receiver. In 5 seconds, the phone rings again and Cloud quick grabs it.  
  
Cloud: What yellow brick road?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!  
  
Another Deep Voice: STOP YELLING IN MY EAR! I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT! I'M ANOTHER DEEP VOICE! . . . Is Dante there?  
  
Cloud: Oh. . . sorry about that. Yes, Dante is here. (Cloud hands the phone to Dante and skips off to see how Sephiroth is doing)  
  
Dante: Quick Shop, how may I help you?  
  
Another Deep Voice: Neo. . . For the last time, let me tell you about the matrix!  
  
Dante: I'm not Neo! If you call me again I'm calling the cops!! (Hangs up.)  
  
Meanwhile. . .  
  
Riku: (Beating Sora with a frying pan) BAD, BAD, HORNY SORA! STAY BACK! BACK I SAY!!!  
  
Sora: @_@ Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. . .  
  
Riku stops beating him, but 6 seconds later Riku hits him another time just for good measure.  
  
Sora: Ow. . . But Riku, don't you love me?!  
  
Riku: No! (Whacks him on the head again) Damn! Why wont you faint?! (Riku looks around the room for something better to hit Sora with, and then.. He finds it. the holy item)  
  
Riku: Perfect!!! (Riku gets rid of the frying pan and throws himself towards a wine bottle that's on a desk. He quickly grabs it and then bashes it on Sora's head as hard as he could)  
  
Riku: What?! O_o (Then Riku noticed that the bottle was still full of wine so it didn't break.) . . .Damnit!  
  
Sora: (Few screws loose from getting beating over the head to much, Sora walks towards Riku in a drunk-like-way)  
  
Riku: (In a high pitched girly voice.) AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Sora: Don't worry lovely lady . . . I'll make sure that that perverted man wont touch you . . . . Or your father. (Faints)  
  
Riku: o_O (Breathing Hardly)  
  
Sora: #_#  
  
Riku: (Not taking any chances, he tries to make his escape.) Sora's Mom!!! Sora's gone crazy!!!! HELP!!!!!  
  
Riku looks all over to find Sora's Mom to warn her of his craziness, but he doesn't seem to find her. Riku looks at the clock and notices that it's now morning.  
  
Riku: She should have been home by now. . . where could she have gone.?! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Where did she go off too anyway?  
  
::FLASHBACK::  
  
Sora's Mom: Yes? Hello. And you are?  
  
MM: A Mysterious Man. I'd like to ask you a few questions.  
  
Sora's Mom: Okay. Bye kids. Have fun.  
  
::END OF FLASHBACK::  
  
Riku: Gasp! She went with the Mysterious Man that Kairi told me about!  
  
::ANOTHER FLASHBACK::  
  
Riku: (picking up ringing phone) hello?  
  
Kairi: Riku! It's me, Kairi!  
  
Riku: Oh. . . Are you done with the raft?  
  
Kairi: What? NO! *cough* Anyway, there's this Mysterious Man killing innocent people!!  
  
Riku: Oh my god!  
  
Kairi: I know . . . I should go and call Sora about as well . . . So watch out all right?  
  
Riku: I will . . . I was going to go to Sora's to ask him about that Furby anyway.  
  
::END OF ANOTHER FLASHBACK::  
  
Riku: I got to get to the bottom of this! (Riku runs out of the house, and runs in a random direction)  
  
Sue-Ellen/Tony: (Screaming in the little mouse hole) Noo! You can't make me go out there!!  
  
Tommy: Get your ass out there now! You don't want the Godfurby to. (squeezes eyes) you know. . .  
  
Sue-Ellen: _ Tommy gives Tony one more shove out the mouse hole and he goes flying forward.  
  
Sue-Ellen comes crashing down to the ground and he quickly covers his eyes:  
  
Sue-Ellen: Oh my poor virgin eyes!!!  
  
After a few moments of silence, Sue-Ellen opened his eyes to see Sora unconscious on the floor with gigantic lumps on his head.  
  
Sue-Ellen: Hmmm. That Silver-hair kid mustta gone. But. since I'm here..  
  
The demonic furby's eye began to glow red and pulls out a long kitchen knife out of nowhere.  
  
Sora: ZzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. cough, hack... zzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzZZZzz.. When do we leave this satanic country?!?! .. ZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..  
  
Sue-Ellen: heeheehee. (Sue-Ellen slowly raises the knife getting ready for the kill.)  
  
Sora: (Slowly opening his eyes.) H.huh?  
  
Sue-Ellen: (thinking) Shit!!! (Sue-Ellen quickly throws the knife under Sora's bed before he turned around.)  
  
Sora: Sue-Ellen? Ow. . .! (rubbing his head) Why does my head hurt so much . . . ?  
  
Sue-Ellen: . . . Me love you Sora!!!! ^_^  
  
Sora: ^_^ Oh you said my name right this time!! (Picks up Sue-Ellen) I love you too.  
  
Sue-Ellen: ^_^ (thinking) If he wont stop hugging me I'm gonna shove a stick right up this kids-  
  
Sora: Hmmm. . . I wonder where Riku has gone off too. . . Oh well! (Sora's stomach rumbles) Man. . . I sure am hungry. I'll go ask my mommy to make me a sandwich! (Puts Sue-Ellen down and runs to the kitchen to search for his mother)  
  
Meanwhile. . .  
  
Kairi: (Trying to make conversation) So. . . you like killing?  
  
MM: Oh yes, killing gives me such a rush. But I enjoy celebrities the best.  
  
Kairi: (sweat drop) But why killing . . .? I'm sure there are better hobbies out there that don't include violence . . .  
  
MM: Ha ha ha! If I told you, I would have to kill you then . . . just like I killed that big shoe kid's mother . . .  
  
Kairi: What did you say?  
  
MM: Oh, nothing!  
  
Kairi: Oh . . .  
  
MM: Ah . . . (The Mysterious Man moves his arm to the side of him to make Kairi stop.) . . . There they are . . .  
  
Beyond they are Mary-Kate and Ashley signing autographs and other accessories, with a gigantic group of people around them.  
  
MM: (Pulling out guns) you might not want to see this . . . (Walks off)  
  
Kairi: Wait . . . there's another way to do this! There are other ways to destroy celebrities . . . Entertainment Tonight! Top Ten List! Websites! There are many people like you who make there own website trashing the rich and famous! (The MM ignores her, continuing walking towards the twins.)  
  
Riku: Kairi!!  
  
Kairi: O.O!!!!! What are you doing here!?  
  
Riku: Kairi, something weird is going on here! I think that . . . why are you looking at me like that?  
  
Kairi: Well, you would react the same way too if you just saw your best friends . . . cuddling.  
  
Riku: (Grabbing Kairi's shoulders) Trust me Kairi, it's not what you think at all!  
  
Kairi: Then what were you doing?!  
  
BANG!  
  
Riku: OH MY GOD!!  
  
BANG! BANG!  
  
(lots of screaming)  
  
Kairi: There goes the second one . . .  
  
Riku: Oh, sweet Jesus!  
  
Then a huge crowd of MK and A lovers stampede down the mall. . . trampling Riku and Kairi  
  
Riku: .Ow  
  
Kairi: (looking up) Ah! Where did he go!?  
  
Riku: (grabbing Kairi's Arm) Come on! It's not safe here with the fan-girls running amok and that Mysterious Man!  
  
Kairi: But wait-!! (Being dragged away)  
  
Wakka: *Still Kissing Sephly behind the rock*  
  
Sephly: You know what Wakka.  
  
Wakka: *between kisses* What?  
  
Sephly: I think we should do something about that Mysterious Man. . . He has been hanging around here for two weeks saying out loud his evil-plan several times and he still didn't notice us yet! We should take advantage of this and tell the others.  
  
Wakka: But I'm so comfy, ya!  
  
Sephly: Hmm. . .  
  
Suddenly a figure appears in the secret-cave. It's the Mysterious Man and is carrying the severed heads of Mary Kate and Ashley.  
  
MM: (cooing to himself) Mmm. . . My plan is coming into fold. . . It won't be long. . . so don't worry. . . we shall be together again soon enough. . .  
  
Wakka: . . .This guy's crazy. . .  
  
Sephly: Sshh! (putting her finger to Wakka's mouth)  
  
MM: (His eye narrows and turns to the gigantic rock which Wakka and Sephly and hiding behind of. He slowly starts walking towards it.)  
  
Voice: hig-mi-shapmiddly dooba, de doo. . .  
  
MM: What? (The Mysterious Man eyes follows to where the voice came from.)  
  
God Furby: hig-mi-shapmiddly dooba, de doo. . .  
  
MM: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . what?  
  
God Furby: Ha ho ha huum hass!?  
  
MM: Ha hoo hoo what-the-fuck-are-you saying?!  
  
Tony: (trying to climb the rock which the God Furby was on.) He-grunt-is trying to say that we want to know how everything is going.  
  
MM: (snarls) You can tell him to mind is own business.  
  
Tony: (To the God Furby) He tells you to mind your own business.  
  
God Furby: Ho hont mi dwen mi mid!!!!!!!!  
  
MM: No offence . . . but is the God Furby like . . . demented or something?  
  
Tony: (To the God Furby) Are a-you demented or something?  
  
God Furby: *cough* I see it would work better if I didn't talk Mafileni. . .  
  
MM: (raises eyebrow) Mafia-what?  
  
God Furby: (Trailing off subject) . . .I remember a time when everyone knew Mafileni. . .  
  
MM: . . . . You wanted to see me about something . . .?  
  
God Furby: Oh. . . yes. I'm just making sure that your doing your job . . .  
  
MM: Hey, I'm doing just fine! I just got myself two real good ones! (Throws the heads towards the God Furby)  
  
God Furby: Just remember this. . . if we want this to happen. . . we have to work together.  
  
MM: Ya well, just leave me alone to do my thing and everything will be fine . . . .  
  
God Furby: You are a young soul . . . full of anger and misjudgement . . . but I'm glad that we got to an understanding.  
  
MM: (Slightly annoyed) Yes that just peachy-keen. . . (His eyes wander off to the rock and a smile crawls back on his face.) If you would excuse me . . . I got two more too . . . get rid of.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
B.M: Wasn't it a nice chapter?  
  
Evilmini86: Wow, this story is getting very suspenseful.  
  
B.M: It sure is.  
  
Evilmini86: Ya, like, who really is the Mysterious Man? What are the plans of the God Furby and the MM? Why am I so sexy? Is Sora gay? How is that evil-boys-only sleep over on Friday going to turn out? How is Sephiroth going to get out of this one?!  
  
B.M: More questions answered and more in the next chapter!  
  
Evilmini86: Can you believe it B.M? . . . 6 reviews!  
  
B.M: I know. It gives me tingles all over! 6 reviews to care and hold for!  
  
Evilmini86: Let's have a goal of reviews for a next chapter! Sound good ^_^  
  
B.M: O.k! how about 1 review!  
  
Evilmini86: . . . 1?  
  
B.M: Ya, 1. . . you gotta start small. . .  
  
Evilmini86: . . . . Fine. . . one review it is. o_? 


	6. Sleepovers, Dead Chicks, and a Lack of T...

The Fritos of Wrath!  
  
Chapter 6: Sleepovers, Dead Chicks, and a Lack of Toilet Paper  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Evilmini: (panicking) AAAHHH!  
  
Buras_Mew: What's wrong?  
  
Evilmini: Writer's block!  
  
BM: Oh...is that all. WHAT?! NO! You can't!  
  
Evilmini: Damn my luck, damn! I know! (shoves a mini muffin in his mouth) Mmmm...  
  
BM: This is serious!  
  
Evilmini: (chokes) MHhHm! Gmuhhch! (reaching out) Mhhm!!!  
  
BM: HOLY CRAP!  
  
Evilmini: MEE-MEXX!!  
  
BM: Huh? I can't understand you.  
  
Evilmini: WEE-PIX!  
  
BM: Wee pix? What, like a tiny picture or something?  
  
Evilmini: (almost out of air) REMIX!!!  
  
BM: OH! Ok...(hands him a Sprite Remix)  
  
Evilmini: (gulp gulp gulp) Ahhh! And that's how Sprite Remix saved my life, folks. Sprite Remix saved my life.  
  
BM & Evilmini: (bow bow bow) Thank you! Thank you!  
  
(crickets)  
  
Evilmini: Fuck it, let's just start the chapter.  
  
BM: Oooo! Language!  
  
Evilmini: Leave me alone!  
  
BM: Fine! It is YOUR chapter after all. Hopefully it won't take you a month to write it this time.  
  
Evilmini: Grrr...don't lecture me Miss Crossover fic! There I said it!  
  
BM: What? But it's Clerks! That movie is awesome!  
  
Evilmini: But still! I get to do a weird crossover too then!  
  
BM: Fine. Whatever.  
  
Evilmini: SWEET!  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
--Back in the potty where we last left Sephiroth...  
  
Sephiroth: [what am I gonna do? Crap, crap, crap! I can't ask Cloud for any...]  
  
Cloud: Come on man! Are you getting' emotional over your dump or something?  
  
Sephiroth: KEEP YOUR PANTS ON! [Jesus Christ! Someone up there doesn't like me...what to do, what to do!!!]  
  
Cloud: Come on! We have to go down a yellow brick road or some crap like that.  
  
Sephiroth: Okay, okay! [Alright, let's be creative Seph. Hmmm...resources. What to use? Let's see. Potty seat covers!] (turns around) [Empty! Hmmm...fabric! No that's just gross. Hmmm...] (looking around) [My wallet! I can spare a buck!] (opens wallet) [two 20's! What the fuck?!]  
  
Cloud: The world doesn't revolve around your butt you know!  
  
Sephiroth: Shut up! [Okay, I can't just go around wiping my ass with twenties!]  
  
Dante: Is your friend outta the crapper yet?  
  
Cloud: No, I think he's getting emotional with it or something.  
  
Sephiroth: Hold on a second okay! [I gotz a plan now! Ahahaha!!!] (pulls out a twenty) [Wipey, wipey, hahaha.] Hey, Cloud! Sorry for the wait! (pulls up pants and walks out of the stall) Here. Buy yourself a coffee or something...on me.  
  
Cloud: Okay...thanks. (takes the twenty)  
  
Sephiroth: AAAAHHHHH! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAA! (falls on the ground laughing)  
  
Dante: Wash your hands.  
  
Sephiroth: Why don't you tell him that?! HAHAHAAAA!  
  
Cloud: Hey, Dante, was it? Can you ring this up?  
  
Dante: Sure.  
  
Sephiroth: Two birds with one pissy stone! AHAHAHHAHAAAA!  
  
Cloud: Thanks. Can we go now?  
  
Sephiroth: Sure. (snicker snicker)  
  
--They leave the store and begin they're journey to the "yellow brick road."  
  
Cloud: So where is it?  
  
Sephiroth: The only thing that close to a yellow brick road is that trail of piss going down that alley.  
  
Cloud: Sure let's follow it.  
  
--Meanwhile...back at the mall. Riku, Kairi, and the Mysterious Man leave the scene of the crime.  
  
Riku: So what is all this about?!  
  
MM: What do you mean?  
  
Riku: Answer me!  
  
MM: You mean my mission? My plan? The Furbys?  
  
Riku: Um...yeah.  
  
MM: Well, it all has to do with my father who was locked away by the keyblade master of ancient times. Anyway, I have to free him.  
  
Riku: Okay, and the furbys.  
  
MM: They just want his power. So I'm using them and they are using me. But if I get there first then I win! Get it?  
  
Riku: Not really.  
  
MM: Well, I have to find all of the special targets-  
  
Riku: "Special targets?"  
  
MM: You heard me! I ain't telling you everything kid. Anyway, I have to kill them. The Olsen twins and Keano were just side jobs. Not special at all.  
  
Riku: They just needed to die? Got it.  
  
MM: Okay, then. I wonder what the furbys are plotting now. They are highly dangerous. Anyone who has one could like...DIE!  
  
Kairi: (ignoring the conversation, slurping down a Slushie) Mmmm...strawberry banana! Hey, did you guys say something about furbys?  
  
MM &Riku: Yeah. So?  
  
Kairi: Doesn't Sora have one of those?  
  
Riku: Holy SHIT!  
  
MM: Huh?  
  
Riku: Sora! I left him there! He was unconscious-I have to save him-they might-I have to-  
  
MM: Rrrright...you do that.  
  
--Riku darts out of the mall towards Sora's house.  
  
--Meanwhile...  
  
Sora: MOM!!! I'm hungry!!!  
  
(crickets)  
  
Sora: MOM!  
  
(Halloween Theme: Khoa-khoa-khoa, ch-ch-ch...khoa-khoa-khoa, ha-ha-ha...)  
  
Sora: Hello! It anyone in here?  
  
(Ch-ch-ch-ha-ha-ha...)  
  
Sora: (still yelling into the dark empty house) Um, I'm just gonna make a sandwich and then go up and take a shower! Just so that the whole world knows were I am!!! In the most vulnerable place in the house!!!  
  
(Ch-ch-ch-ha-ha-ha)  
  
Sora: Mom? Billy?  
  
--A shadow comes up behind him...  
  
Sora: (turning slowly) Okay...AHHHH!!!  
  
(Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!)  
  
Sora: Sue-Ellen?!!  
  
Tony: (wielding a knife) Ahahahah!!!! I gotcha!  
  
Sora: But...but furby!  
  
Tony: But furby my ass!  
  
Sora: But...what do you plan on doing with that knife?  
  
Tony: It's sharp enough to slit your throat with! AHAHAHAAAA!!!  
  
Sora: (screams like a girl) IEEEEE!!! AAAHHHHH!!! (pulls off him right shoe and tosses it at the furby)  
  
BOINK!  
  
Tony: x_X  
  
Sora: Furby?  
  
Tony: (shakes) What the fuck kid?! That shoe is friggin' huge! You tryin' to kill me?  
  
Sora: You were trying to kill me first!  
  
Tony: Whatever, that was messed up. (tosses it back)  
  
Sora: (The shoe knocks the wind out of Sora and he falls on his butt) Ouch!  
  
Tony: (staring at Sora's bare foot) (gasp) It's the! The...the! The mark of the-  
  
BOOF!!!  
  
BANG!!!  
  
SMASH!!!  
  
Sora: Riku?  
  
Riku: Sora are you okay?  
  
Sora: Yeah, I'm fine now, thanks to you. (goo-goo eyes)  
  
Riku: Oh no ya don't! No glomping today!  
  
Sora: Fine. Why'd you kill the furby? And how'd you know to save me? You love me don't you?  
  
Riku: Well, I was talking to that Mysterious Man and he was telling me about him saving his dad and the furbies and killing the "special targets" and a keyblade.  
  
Sora: Wow! That sounds cool. Just before you killed the furby, he stared wiggin' out about my foot. Is there something wrong with it?  
  
Riku: No. You just have a weird birthmark on it.  
  
Sora: I do? (trying to see it) I can't see! What's it look like?  
  
Riku: I dun know? Hmmm...kinda like a keyhole I guess.  
  
Sora: That reminds me...my mom's missing.  
  
Riku: Yeah, I heard you screaming "MOM?!"  
  
Sora: Yeah, what do you think happened to her?  
  
Riku: You don't think...the furbys?  
  
Sora: Noooo...(giggles) That's silly! Wait a sec! A furby just tried to kill me!  
  
Riku: Realy? Who was that last person with her?  
  
Sora: Hmmm...that Mysterious Man I guess.  
  
Riku: WHAT?!!  
  
--Meanwhile, back on the "pissy cement alley"...  
  
Cloud: We're off to find Aerith! The best lay in Final Fantasy!  
  
Sephiroth: We're off to find her so that-we can lay her again!  
  
--They come across a fork in the road.  
  
Cloud: So where do we turn? Left or right?  
  
Sephiroth: I'll go left and you go right.  
  
Cloud: Why can't I go left and YOU go right.  
  
Sephiroth: Fine. I'll go right and you go left.  
  
Cloud: I didn't say I wanted to go left. I just didn't want you to set me up or something.  
  
Sephiroth: So where do you want to go? Left or right.  
  
Cloud: I don't know. Which way do you want to go? Left or right.  
  
Sephiroth: Right or left? I don't care!  
  
Cloud: Right or left? Why not left or right?  
  
Sephiroth: Same difference?  
  
Cloud: Or same sum?  
  
Sephiroth: Why are you being so difficult?  
  
Cloud: I'm not being difficult! You are the one who won't pick a direction!  
  
Sephiroth: Fine! I pick right.  
  
Cloud: Okay then, I go right and you go left.  
  
Sephiroth: But I just picked right, so why do I have to go left?  
  
Cloud: Because I'm going where you want to go so that you don't set me up.  
  
Sephiroth: But what if I picked the one I didn't want so that you'd pick it then you'd be set up.  
  
Cloud: ...  
  
Sephiroth: Rrrright.  
  
Cloud: No I go right, you go left.  
  
Sephiroth: No, I pick left.  
  
Cloud: So you go right-left-right?  
  
Sephiroth: No, you go right and I go left.  
  
Cloud: But you picked left?  
  
Sephiroth: No I pick right.  
  
Cloud: So you go left and I go right?  
  
Sephiroth: Right.  
  
Cloud: No you go left.  
  
Sephiroth: Right.  
  
Cloud: No left!  
  
Sephiroth: Exactly.  
  
Cloud: Right.  
  
Sephiroth: No, I go left.  
  
Cloud: And I go right.  
  
--Both turn to there directions and walk down the fork in the alley. Cloud ends up at a flashly night club/bar called the "Wet Your Whistle."  
  
Cloud: What the hell?  
  
--A girl that looks a lot like Aerith walks up.  
  
Cloud: Oh my God! Aerith! I found you!  
  
Aerith: (in a deep man voice) Hey, soldier. Nice costume. Be careful 'round here. Lot's of us "girls" may take a likin' to ya. (giggles) (cough cough) Ahck! Ahck! Ahem...yeah. (walks way)  
  
Cloud: Oh my GOD!  
  
Fan "girls": AAHHHHH! It's Cloud!  
  
Cloud: What NO! Down Drag Queens down!  
  
--Stage lights brighten on a stage in the middle of the bar and more slutty drag queens appear on the stage singing.  
  
Drag Queen 1: Bag girls!  
  
DQ 2: Talkin' 'bout the sad girls!  
  
DQ 1: Talkin' 'bout bad bad girls yeah!  
  
All: Beep beep beep! Choo choo choo! Beep beep!  
  
MC (who happens to be Missy Elliot): What? What?  
  
All: Choo choo!  
  
MC: Hey, ho!  
  
All: Clang clang!  
  
MC: Wha-what?  
  
All: Choo-choo!  
  
MC: Where all my girls at?  
  
All: Right here!  
  
MC: (rapping) Yeah, yeah, yeah! I'm Missy E and here's the D...R-A-G-Q-U-E- E... 'nd what you gonna do, bouncing up in here with me and my crew.  
  
All: Just CHILL!  
  
MC: (rapping) Like little tiny kittens on a little window sill! MEEEOW! Baby you know! How we roll, how we do it, how we hit the show! MEEEOW! Come on baby take your order here we go!  
  
Cloud: Oh, my GOD! Somebody help me!  
  
Missy E: Hey you! Blonde in the audience! Where you from?!  
  
Cloud: (gulp) Who me?  
  
Missy E: Yeah. Right right right.  
  
Cloud: Um, Somewhere very far away, and I really need to get there! (starts to run)  
  
--Two drag queens grab him and pull him back into the club.  
  
Missy E: Whatchu want, no perpetratin', just trying to fight temptation!  
  
All: Oooo! What-whatchu gon' do!  
  
Cloud: AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
--Meanwhile, Sephiroth ends up in a teahouse run by grown men in little girl dresses. Sephiroth sits in a hole dug in the bottom of the teahouse.  
  
Miss Pretty: We name you Polly!  
  
Sephiroth: NO! My name is Sephiroth!  
  
Miss Prissy: NO! It's Polly!  
  
Sephiroth: Fine if you'll get me out of this hole you and call me what ever you want.  
  
--A pulley is fixed to the side of the hole and a basket is lowered down into it carrying a bottle of lotion.  
  
Miss Prissy: It puts the lotion on its skin!  
  
Sephiroth: What? Hell no!  
  
Miss Pretty: Your gonna get the hose if you don't listen to Miss Prissy.  
  
Sephiroth: What? Fine! It's putting the lotion on the skin! Geez!  
  
Miss Prissy: Good boy! Grrr...hehehe!  
  
Sephiroth: You freaky porn loving...  
  
Miss Pretty: Don't talk back!  
  
--Meanwhile...the Mysterious Man continues on his mysterious hunt...  
  
MM: Goddamn that damned Governator. Just like Evilmini always says: "You shouldn't be able to buy your governor at Suncoast." But here he is. Mugs, movies, books, shot glasses, and figurines! GRRRRR!!! (pulls out gun) Where is he? Stupid foreigner! (mocks Arnold Schwarzenegger) Oh, I'm the Governator. And I'm going to pump California up! Damn you! Now they're in fucking debt your ass!  
  
Kairi: So what are you gonna do?  
  
MM: I'm going to (holds up gun)...wait, I have a better idea. (pulls out detonator) I'm going to blow up Sacramento!  
  
Kairi: What?  
  
MM: You heard me! MUAHAHAHAAAAA!  
  
Kairi: But you can't blow up all of Sacramento!  
  
MM: Just you wait Kairi...just you wait...  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Buras Mew: Stay tuned to the exciting continuation of...  
  
Evilmini: HEY! I have family there!  
  
Buras Mew: But you wrote it, didn't you? It's your chapter.  
  
Evilmini: I never wrote that!  
  
Buras Mew: Then who did?  
  
Evilmini: I don't know Myu, I just don't know.  
  
Buras Mew & Evilmini: AHHHH!!! It's a conspiracy!  
  
MM: BUM BUM BUUUUMMMM!!! 


	7. Something Strange Is Going On

The Fritos of Wrath!  
  
Chapter 7: Something Strange Is Going On...  
  
A cheesy man sitting in a director's chair begins reading the newspaper minding his own business. He then notices you and puts his paper down and gives a very cheesy smile.  
  
Narrator: ...Oh hi! I'm the new hired Narrator! And being a Narrator, it's my job to inform you about the latest situations and give out pondering questions at the end that might have to do a bit with foreshadowing or... maybe nothing to do at all with the story.... Such like... why is Evilmini so sexy?  
  
Evilmini: *toasts with a sprite remix* True! True!  
  
Narrator: Or why does Buras_Mew enjoy burning things...?  
  
Buras_Mew: Huh...?! *Holding a fire extinguisher to a small garbage can that is on fire.*  
  
Narrator: But that's not the point... the main idea is that our little writers now have enough money to hire there own Narrator, and I'm freaking rich because of it! *jigs on top of money*  
  
Buras_Mew + Evilmini: -_-'''' we are so poor....  
  
Narrator: *cough* anyway, where we last left out heroes.... Um... lots of things have happened... like... *reads script, after a few minutes he raised his eyebrows a few times and then sums up with one thing* ...hmm, we don't need this... *throws script in the garbage can, which gets eatin' by the fire and keep growing*  
  
Buras_Mew: O_O!!!!  
  
Evilmini: ...That wasn't really Narrator-ish of you.  
  
Narrator: Whatever... let's just get to the story....  
  
**** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Narrator: The evil Furby-mafia member Tony (a.k.a Sue-Ellen), just got thrown out the window by Riku and landed into a bush, after regaining consensuses, we finally get to see what's on the Furbys mind...  
  
Tony: *grunts* Oh... every wire in my body hurts...  
  
???: You're a pathetic excuse for a evil mafia mastermind.  
  
Tony: Huh...? Who's there?!  
  
???: I have many names... but you can call me crackfiend.  
  
Tony: Really, what are your other names?  
  
Crackfiend: ...  
  
Tony: ...  
  
Crackfiend: Ok, I don't have another name. I just thought it sounded cool if I had more then one name....  
  
Tony: *snickers* loser...  
  
Narrator: So Tony and Crackfiend begin walking along the beach having a heartfelt talk.  
  
Tony: So you like crack?  
  
Crackfiend: *Smoking a joint* Incurably!  
  
Tony: And are you evil...?  
  
Crackfiend: *takes out a knife and stabs a passing kitty* yes.  
  
Tony: Hmm... that explains the name.  
  
Crackfiend: But that's not why I'm here. I... Crackfiend, one of the most evil Furbys of all time, has desisted to teach you to become more evil then you can possibly imagine!  
  
Tony: ...Hmm.... All right.  
  
Crackfiend: *rubs hands together* excellent....  
  
Narrator: Then suddenly a gigantic wave appeared out of nowhere and drove Crackfiend out to sea.  
  
Crackfiend: *in the distance* YOU MAY HAVE DESTROY ME BUT FIVE MORE TAKE MY PLAAAAAAACE!!!!!!  
  
Narrator: And he was ever seen again.  
  
Tony: Wow.... That was messed up... Oh I almost forgot! I have to tell the Godfurby about what I discovered with that kid with the big feet!!!  
  
Narrator: So Tony began running as fast as his 100% cotton feet could take him to the secret cave/hideout. So only after a few hours he finally made it.  
  
Tony: GODFURBBBBY!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Godfurby: Ehh?  
  
Tony: GODFURBBBBY!!! I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU!! *trips over a rock* YEOW!!!!!!! *faints*  
  
*five minutes later*  
  
Tommy: *slaps Tony* Wake up ya' bum!!!  
  
Tony: *waking up* Ow! That hurt! *slaps Tommy*  
  
Tommy: *slaps Tony*  
  
Tony: *slaps Tommy*  
  
Tommy: *slaps Tony*  
  
Tony: *slaps Tommy*  
  
Godfurby: *Slaps Tommy and Tony*  
  
Tony + Tommy: O_ ow...  
  
Godfurby: Ho hall har shackin' hike doron!!  
  
Tony: ......what....?  
  
Tommy: The Godfurby said that you're acting like a fool.  
  
Tony: Wait.... Wasn't he just speaking English a while ago...?  
  
Godfurby: ...no  
  
Tony: Ok, just making sure.  
  
Godfurby: Now... didn't you want to tell me something...?  
  
Tony: Hmm... it seems I forgot.................... oh well!  
  
Tommy: -_______-''' Baka...  
  
Sora: OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! O-  
  
Riku: *slaps Sora* Stop that. It's starting to get annoying.  
  
Sora: But I can't help it!! We have to find out if the Mysterious Man killed my mother!!  
  
Riku: But we already know that the Mysterious Man killed your mother! It's so freaking obvious!  
  
Sora: *looks hurt and is about to cry*  
  
Riku: No! What I mean is that... um, let's just go into town and see if we can find out anything.  
  
Sora: *sniff* O.k...  
  
So Sora and Riku go off in search for Sora's mother... even thought it's so freaking obvious that she's dead. Anyway, lot's of stuff happened and there journey somehow ended up in a church.  
  
Father Thomas (random priest): Hello children! How can god serve you today?  
  
Sora: You know... this may sound like a stupid questions... But did you see a mysterious man and a woman with him by chance.  
  
Father Thomas: Oh yes. A Mysterious man did show up with a woman last night.  
  
Sora: *gasp* Oh my god! Riku, my mother was here last night! SHE'S ALIVE!!! *clings to Riku*  
  
Riku: -__-' Um, that's nice Sora. Would you know where the woman is now?  
  
Father Thomas: Oh, she's over there. *points at rotting corps still on the alter.*  
  
Sora: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *faints*  
  
Father Thomas: I been planning to clean it up sooner but I been busy...... praying to Mary... ya, that's it... praying. *turns to a marble statue of Mother Mary* I do so love you Mary... so very, very...  
  
Riku: -__-' ew... Well, I guess that ends the mystery of what happened to Sora's mom.  
  
He picks up Sora and carries him out of the church. Then to his surprise, he sees Kairi walking on the opposite side of the street.  
  
Riku: Kairi!!  
  
Kairi: Oh, Riku! *Kairi runs across the street to Riku.* Riku, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for thinking that you and Sora were-OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED TO SORA?!?  
  
Riku: Apparently, we found out that the Mysterious Man killed Sora's mom. Where did he go anyway?  
  
Kairi: Something about blowing up Sacramento.  
  
Riku: Fine. Listen Kairi, something strange is going on...  
  
Kairi: How many times did you say that today?  
  
Riku: Lost count. We have to get everybody together and find out our next move.... Something strange is going on...*squints eyes* ...what?  
  
Kairi: ...nothing.  
  
Riku: Fine. Whatever.  
  
Narrator: So Kairi used her cell phone and called every one that she could think off and told them to meet at their secret island. Then Kairi and Riku ran to the town port and jumped on their little canoe and started rowing to the island.  
  
Riku: What's with the gigantic purse Kairi?  
  
Kairi: Oh, you just never know what you're going to need. ^_^  
  
*Inside the purse*  
  
Tony + Tommy: Muahahahahaha....!  
  
Godfurby: Ugah ugah ugah!  
  
Tony: That doesn't even sound like a laugh!  
  
*Outside the purse*  
  
Kairi: ^_^  
  
Sora: *still sleeping* X_x  
  
Tidus: So... there is some Furbys and a mysterious guy roaming around our island trying to take over the world?  
  
Riku: So it would seem.  
  
Sora: =_='''' *just woke up two minutes ago*  
  
Tidus: ... and where are they now?  
  
Kairi: We think the Furbys are in town... and the Mysterious Man is going to California to blow up Sacramento.  
  
Tidus: I'm confused.  
  
Riku: Ok... what do we know?  
  
Sora: THE FURBY'S ARE EVIL!!!!  
  
Riku: Sora, everybody knew that from the beginning.  
  
Sora: Sniff...  
  
Riku: Alright then, we know that the Mysterious Man and the Furbys are working together and trying to bring somebody really powerful back from the dead, so they can take over the world  
  
Tidus: Oh, the old take over the world bit... I see.  
  
Riku: Ya, they have to kill these 'special targets' and open a door with the 'key blade' to bring him back to life.  
  
Tidus: What the hell is a Keyblade...?!  
  
Riku: Yeash, you expect me to know?!  
  
Tidus: So... who are these 'special targets' ... and how any are there?  
  
Riku: I don't know. But he said that The Olsen twins and Keano were just side jobs... So I don't even think he started yet.  
  
Sora: =_= Wait... He didn't mention Rick Mercer...?  
  
Riku: Rick who?  
  
Sora: =_= Rick Mercer... I saw the Mysterious Man kill him... so he must me one of the 'special targets'! ... and he killed my mother! She must have been a 'special targets' too! *starts crying*  
  
Riku: Um, I don't think your mother...  
  
Kairi: So what do Rick Mercer and Sora's mom have in common?  
  
Tidus: I'm still totally comfuzzled...  
  
Riku: Kairi, I don't think Sora's mom is one of the 'special targets'  
  
Kairi: Hey... does anybody know where Wakka and Selpy are?  
  
Sora: =_= They were both making out behind that rock at the first chapter...  
  
Tony + Tommy + Godfurby: *sneaked out of Kairi's purse* BOO!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! *Runs away*  
  
Selphy: Shut-up Wakka! We made a deal that we would help him blow up Sacramento if he didn't kill us!! Now help me load the cannons!!  
  
Wakka: Oh man. I just wanted to make out, ya. -____-'''''''''  
  
Mysterious Man: How are the cannons loading?  
  
Selphy: -_-'  
  
*Ansem is still sitting in the café with a pissed off look on his face.  
  
Ansem: I can't believe he left me like that! Abandoned me for a chance to have unbelievable sex.......... Damn it! I should have gone with him! *Ansem slouches down in his chair and takes a sip of his tea looking really upset now.*  
  
???: Can I join you?  
  
Ansem: *looks up* Who the hell are you?  
  
Magus: I am Magus from Chrono Trigger.  
  
Ansem: Are you evil?  
  
Magus: Not only am I evil... but I have long sexy hair.  
  
Ansem: Hmm... I like you. You may sit.  
  
Magus: *takes a seat* you look bummed, what's eating you?  
  
Ansem: Sephiroth left me for a chance to have sex with some chick named Aerith.  
  
Magus: Aerith Gainsborough?  
  
Ansem: Ya... know her?  
  
Magus: Are you kidding? Almost everyone in the gaming world did her!  
  
Ansem: *slouching down even more* I see...  
  
Magus: So... are you going to that sleepover on Friday?  
  
Ansem: Oh... ya, I'm going.  
  
Magus: Well that's good, I'll see you there then. *Looks at the clock on the wall* Whow, look at the time... I have to go home to the wife and kids...Kuja gets mad when I'm late for dinner.  
  
*Magus gets up and leaves Ansem. After a couple of minutes of sipping tea, Ansem decides it's time to leave and get ready for the sleepover on Friday.  
  
*** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
* * *  
  
Buras_Mew: Ya... I think I'm done. Evilmini: WHAT ABOUT SACRAMENTO!?!?! Buras_Mew: I'm tired! You figure it out!! *sleeps* 


	8. DOn't Forget Your Toothbrush

The Fritos of Wrath

Chapter Eight: Don't Forget to Bring Your Toothbrush

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Evilmini: Okay, we spent way too much money on that freak! Now I want you to fire him!

BurasMew: What? ME? Why me?

Evilmini: You hire 'em; you fire 'em.

BM: What? NO!

Evilmini: Please?

BM: NO! You do it!

Evilmini: No habla ingles!

BM: What?

Evilmini: Cual es tu actor favorito?

BM: What the………?

Evilmini: Mi actor favorito es Mike Myers!

BM: Stop it!

Evilmini: Ei! Chotto ni! Tomodachi wa darou ka?

BM: What? Japanese?

Evilmini: Hai! Anata wa Nihongo i masen ka?

BM: NO!

Evilmini: Onegai! ONEGAI SHIMASUUUUU!

BM: You are the one who wants him gone!

Narrator: (walks in) Who wants who gone?

Evilmini: Um………w-we were just talking about………

BM: About?

Evilmini: About getting rid of………

BM: Of?

Evilmini: That guy from………from………um………Sora! Getting rid of Sora!

BM: WHAT! NOOOOO!

Evilmini: Um, yes! I think we should! (whispers to Myu) Sorry, first name to pop into my head!

Narrator: Well, that's an interesting idea.

Evilmini: The script is right over there. (points) Look at it.

Narrator: (turns) Oka—

BLAM!

BM: OMG!

Evilmini: Heh! (holds 2x4………that's a plank of wood) Heh! I got rid of him! Now, let us move on with the story, shall we?

BM: . . .

Evilmini: Good.

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Rufus: Is everything set up?

Prof. Hojo: Yeah, just one thing missing…

Rufus: What?

Prof. Hojo: The hosts of the party!

Rufus: Oh, yeah…

Prof. Hojo: They are supposed to be the one's setting up for this Evil Villain Sleep Over, not US!

Rufus: We even had to make the invitations.

Prof. Hojo: Damn you Cloud! DAMN YOU SEPHIROTH! (grabs a pill bottle)

Rufus: Whoa there! What's that for now?

Hojo: My ulcer…you know…stress…it's in a pill form now…I invented it myself…

Rufus: I'm sure you did. (turns away and checks off stuff on a list) Red streamer—check, black streamer—check…

Hojo: What is that supposed to mean? I am a world-renowned scientist!

Rufus: You make steroids Hojo!

Hojo: Jenova cells are not steroids! They are herbal supplements I tell you! HERBAL SUPPLEMENTS!

Rufus: Drugs are drugs Hojo! Don't act like you don't remember your little hospital visit!

Hojo: It was just a check up!

Rufus: Of course it was, if your idea of a check up is two months of intensive care for an OD on "herbal supplements"!

Hojo: It was not an OD!

Rufus: Sure…and the name Hojo isn't gay.

Hojo: It's not! It means support or aid….assistance and stuff in Japanese…

Rufus: That's a crappy name…

Hojo: NO! You are the crappy one! (pops a pill)

Rufus: Hey! Stop it! I don't trust those "pills" of yours…

Hojo: Lighten up…want one?

Rufus: NOOO!

--The kitchen door opens revealing Jenova in a 50's housewife dress complete with high heels, a string of pearls, flipped out hair, and a platter of party snacks.

Jenova: Anyone hungry?

Rufus & Hojo: O.o…Jenova?

Jenova: That's Mrs. Jenova to you…(giggle)

Rufus: Rrrright…maybe you could be Mrs. Hojo…translated to be Mrs. Assistant… HAHAHAAA!

Hojo: Shut up!

Jenova: ALL OF YOU SHUT UP OR YOU SHALL FEAR MY REIGN! (ahem) Lemon squares? You two have just been working sooo hard…my little Sephie will appreciate it…

Rufus & Hojo: Oo…rrrright….

Jenova: I am just going to go into the kitchen and magic up some more snacks for Sephie's little party! I do hope he gets home soon. His friends will be here any minute.

Rufus: Okay "Mrs. Jenova"…

--She exits.

Hojo: Psssst…

Rufus: What?

Hojo: (whispers loudly) Where'd her tail go?

Rufus: Huh?

Hojo: (wh. loud.) Her tail! Where did it go?

Rufus: Huh?

Hojo: (w. l.) And all the tubes and stuff! Where'd they go?

Rufus: How the hell should I know? And why are you whispering?

Hojo: (w. l.) …I don't know…

--MEANWHILE…

Sephiroth: See this katana?

Miss Prissy: Yes sir! (screams)

Sephiroth: Now, it is the most suggestive katana in the world…it's grows when I swing it hard enough…care to try?

Miss Pretty: Oooo! Me first!

SLASH!

BLOOD!

Miss Prissy: AAAAHH! You killed Miss Pretty!

Sephiroth: (rips off the tea party hat on his head) Shut up!

Miss Prissy: AAAAAAHH!

Sephiroth: It puts the acid on its tongue!

Miss Prissy: You want me to drink acid?

Sephiroth: Well…yes…

Miss Prissy: NO!

Sephiroth: Or else it gets the katana like Miss Pretty again…

Miss Prissy: (drinks) WHAAA! (gulp gulp gulp)

Sephiroth: HAHAHAAA! Stupid…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

--He leaves the creepy Tea House and goes down the path where Cloud had gone. He enters the Drag Queen Bar…

Sephiroth: What the hell! CLOUD! Where are you!

Cloud: (runs to him wearing a skirt and wig) SEPHIROTH! SAVE ME!

Sephiroth: What happened to you?

Cloud: What happened to you?

Sephiroth: Never mind the Tea Party dress…I know I look like Alice in Wonderland in Drag…

Cloud: Never say the word "drag" again! (pauses) RUN!

--A stampede of creepy drag queens screaming CLOUD run towards them.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

--Meanwhile…Sora and Riku sit in Sora's room thinking of a plan…since they ditched the dim-wits Tidus and Kairi.

Riku: Sooo, what should we do?

Sora: I'm not sure…wanna look at my foot again?

Riku: No!

Sora: Are you sure?

Riku: Stop saying that!

Sora: Wanna make out?

Riku: NO!

Sora: You sure?

Riku: I'm not GAY!

Sora: You seem a little obsessed with me…

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: Anyway…I think we should try to second-guess this Mysterious Man's moves…

Sora: How?

Riku: Think like a villain!

Sora: How?

Riku: I know, let's go to Sephiroth's house! He's a villain! He's sure to help…

Sora: How?

Riku: He's a villain.

Sora: How?

Riku: Cause he killed people…a lot…

Sora: How?

Riku: With his magic katana that suggestively grows when you swing it really hard…

Sora: How?

Riku: I don't know it's magic…

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: Moving on…let's go!

Sora: Where?

Riku: To Sephiroth's house…

Sora: Where?

Riku: Over on 3rd Avenue…

Sora: Where?

Riku: Between 2nd and 4th Avenue! Now let's get going!

Sora: Where?

Riku: Stop it!

Sora: Why?

Riku: Because I said so!

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: Wanna look at my foot again?

Riku: NO!

Sora: Wanna make out?

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: …

Sora: …

Riku: Sure…

Sora: Seriously?

Riku: Um…sure…

--Make out scene ensues…MEANWHILE…back at Sephiroth's house…

Seymour: (monotone) Oh no. Where are they? It is terrible. They are supposed to be here. It is their party. Why are they not present? If only they were present…

Reno: SHUT UP! Jesus you queer…

Seymour: Ring the doorbell…someone must ring the doorbell…it is imperative that a doorbell is rung to allow entry into this fine…

Reno: SHUT UP! (rings doorbell)

Seymour: I thank you my disillusioned friend. For we now, are one step closer to opening the gateway…the gateway of the sleepover party…

Reno: Gah!

--The door opens…

Rufus: Oh, hi…he invited you? Jesus…next thing you know Ansem will be walking up to the doorstep…

Ansem: Hey guys? Am I early?

Rufus: No…grrr right on time…I guess…come in…

--The three of them walk into the amply decorated living room. The streamers and balloons are red, blue, and black. And there is a huge table of food.

Seymour: What dear sustenance! I feel that eating these delectables would be rather enjoyable. Would anyone care to join me? Yuna?

Rufus: Yuna's not here…she's dead.

Seymour: Oh, really…well then…off to the finger foods…perhaps I might drown my sorrows…

Reno: Is Yuna really dead?

Rufus: No…I just wondered how much emotion he'd be able to show.

Reno: Just don't try to make him laugh. He made me listen to song parodies all the fucking way here and kept laughing at the dumbest shit!

Rufus: What a mouth you have?

Reno: Well I'm fuckin' loosing it here! The man is crazy! Have you heard him laugh Rufus! (grabs Rufus's lapels) HAVE YOU HEARD HIM LAUGH!

Rufus: Um…no…(pushes Reno off) Finger foods?

Reno: GAH! (eats)

--Emerging from the kitchen…

Hojo: Guess what everybody!

Reno: Fuck…

Hojo: No, even better…

Seymour: But what could possibly be better than a good—

Ansem: Ahem!

Seymour: In the—

Ansem: AHEM!

Hojo: This! (holds up a platter) They are my newest invention!

Rufus: Hojo….

Hojo: No, no, no, they are safe and totally natural! Jenova-bites!

Rufus: HOJO!

Hojo: They are all natural health snacks that taste great and give you that extra boost of energy.

Rufus: Extra boost my—

Ansem: AHEM….

Hojo: Anyone want a Jenova-bite?

Rufus: NO!

Seymour: They look simply inTOXicating…

Rufus: Rrrright…listen Hojo, I don't care what you do with your own body…but please don't distribute this to others.

Seymour: (munch) Wow! (twitches) It is simply (twitch) the best (twitch) the bbbbest (twitch) OMG! It's the best fucking thing I have ever tasted! It's like the party isn't out here! But it is totally in my mouth somewhere! O M G!

Rufus: Fuck! Hojo! That is not natural!

Seymour: OMG! Can I have some more?

Rufus: NO!

Hojo: It is all-natural!

Rufus: Then why does he have expression in his voice and he's talking right to the point! Riddle me that Hojo! RIDDLE ME THAT!

Hojo: Leave me alone Rufus! It's not like you never developed an illegal drug and distributed it out to the masses…

Rufus: …

Hojo: …

Rufus: …

Hojo: …

Rufus: …

Hojo: …

Rufus: …

Hojo: …

Rufus: …

Hojo: …

Rufus: You dumb—

Ansem: Ahem…

Reno: Stop bleeping out everything!

Seymour: (munch) kjahdflahflakfjaflakfa; kjdaoyiqrAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Rufus: Dammit Hojo!

Hojo: MUAHAHAAAA!

Reno: Gah!

Ansem: At least he's not laughing…yet…

Reno: Don't say yet you—

Ansem: Ahem…

Reno: GAH!

Seymour: (munch) Ehemehehemhehemehehe!

Reno: NO! Oh god no! Not the laugh!

Ansem: It's almost funny…

Hojo: I just warn you…if he starts to get a little shiny…run…

Rufus: They're side effects, Hojo?

Hojo: Well…no…yes…no…maybe…

Rufus: HOJO! I told you! No more DRUGS!

Hojo: Herbal supplement!

Ansem: You know…there just might be a way to cure him…

Reno: (mocking) Oh…I'm a scholar! I know everything! I study Heartless's! Look at me! I can save the day cause I have a tan!

Ansem: SHUT UP!

Rufus: How do we fix him then?

Ansem: Um…I forgot now…

Seymour: (sings) Watashi wa oshiire o dete, mado o ake-masu!

Hojo: (takes a bite) Whhat?

Rufus: Not you too!

Hojo: Whhat?

Rufus: I said, 'not you too!'

Hojo: Whhat?

Rufus: NOT YOU TOO!

Hojo: Huh?

Rufus: NOT YOU TOOOO!

Hojo: Ookay!

Reno: Damn you Dave Chapelle! DAMN YOU!

Rufus: Where's Sephiroth? I am going to kill myself!

Ansem: It'll be okay…

Seymour: Soto no mado ni tonde!

Reno: What the hell?

Rufus: He said, "I come out of the closet, and open the window…I fly out of the window."

Reno: Oh…is that all…

Rufus: I hate you.

Reno: Sorry, he's just really pissing me off.

Seymour: I am a Spartan! Oh! OMG! You got to dance! Odotte!

Reno: GAH!

--Just then, and not a minute too soon, a knock at the door…

Rufus: Hello? What the—

Riku: Is my secretly biological father here?

Rufus: Who? Sephiroth? No.

Riku: Damn…

Rufus: Are you here for the party?

Sora: What party?

Riku: Shut up! Um…sure…

Rufus: Well, then, I guess you can wait here for him. I don't know when they'll get here, no one knows. Come on in.

Sora: Yay!

Riku: Shut up…

Rufus: Everybody shut up! We have two new guests…what are your names again?

Riku: I'm Riku and this is Sora…

Rufus: Riku and Sora, this is Reno, Seymore, Ansem, and Prof. Hojo.

Riku: Um, hi…

Sora: Hello!

Rufus: If you want some food, there's some snacks on that table over there…but what ever you do, don't eat anything that Hojo's got.

Hojo: Whhat!

Rufus: You stupid—

Ansem: Ahem…

Riku: Right…

TO BE CONTINUED….

BurasMew: Wow that was long…

Evilmini86: Um…so?

BurasMew: You wanna fight?

Evilmini86: Not really… you wanna donut?

BurasMew: SURE!

go out for donuts

THE END


End file.
